


E3K

by agent_florida



Category: Red vs. Blue
Genre: Crack, Crack Pairing, Kink Meme, M/M, Machines
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-04-30
Updated: 2010-04-30
Packaged: 2017-11-23 20:54:53
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 663
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/626426
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/agent_florida/pseuds/agent_florida
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Something from the new epies. I would love you forever for ball!Church getting misused in his laser face. Preferably by Tucker or Sarge. Because, really, what else is that hole good for!</p><p>Yes, I am implying putting a peen in his laser hole. It would be wonderful.</p>
            </blockquote>





	E3K

Sarge wasn’t one for technology, but this thing made him curious.  
  
After much debate, they had finally decided to stay put for now, since the bowling ball didn’t seem to be coming back online. Night had fallen long ago, and Simmons and Grif were asleep, their bodies a little too close for Sarge’s liking.  
  
But the… thinger hadn’t come back online, and this was his chance. He loved tinkering with things, and he just wanted to see how this worked. Yeah, just… just wanted to see how the laser worked.  
  
He picked it up – it was heavier than it looked – and examined the chassis, looking for any way inside so he could muck with the circuit boards. There wasn’t anything. No screws, no seams, nothing. Whatever had made this had made it so that human hands couldn’t touch it.  
  
Eh. He’d find another way. Eyes were always vulnerable, right? Squishy. Popped easily. He could get into the chassis that way. But when he went to undo what looked like a glass covering to the bowling ball’s laser eye, he was shocked to discover that it wasn’t glass at all. His fingers passed through some gelatinous barrier and just kept on going, pushing in on some kind of gel, and when he removed his hand he could see the imprint of what he had done still there.  
  
He tried it again. What an interesting sensation – the gel seemed to mold to him, almost sucking him in, and it kept its shape for a few moments before reverting back to normal. Against his better instincts, he took off his glove and prodded the gel with a bare finger. Oh, it felt even better this way, and he watched in amazement as his finger sunk further and further in, the gel around it heat-conductive, somehow not too squishy but still feeling moist.  
  
There was just one thing he had left to do. For science, he reassured himself. No other reason than for science. He undid the catches on his codpiece, stroked himself to hardness, and then penetrated the chassis in the eyeball. The sensation was so good that he could feel his eyes rolling back in his head, and even though the gel wasn’t very easy to move, it took shape well.  
  
He withdrew, hating himself for that, and the little tunnel he had made with his dick started slowly closing in on itself again. The next thrust went easier and felt even better, the moisture of the gel and the pressure of its trying to reform himself feeling almost like a real woman around him. It had been years since he’d had one, yet he could remember the sensation, and this was as close as he’d been able to come to replicating it since.  
  
He fucked the eye in every position he could think of, using it to masturbate himself, and the pleasure was so intense he almost blew his load five times in as many minutes. But some part of his brain was still working, and he pulled out just as he was about to go over the edge, skeeting on the metal of the chassis instead of inside the eye itself. Cleaning up after himself was easier this way, and he would be sure that the bowling ball wouldn’t know how poorly he had just been used.  
  
Obviously, he had been wrong. Once they got back to the desert the next day, the Eyeball 3000 powered up right away, still sounding a little shaky but otherwise no worse for wear. “Unh… what happened… god damn it, why can’t I see? Why does it feel like there’s jizz in my eye?”  
  
Sarge was never more thankful for helmets; he was sure his face was as red as his armor. He covered up quickly. “Grif, Ah told you not ta mess with it!”  
  
Grif just sneered back. “Sarge, I’m sure that one day, your mad scientist ways are going to go one step too far…”


End file.
